saw my old truckstop boss

My boss, the one with the horrible "Elmer" speech impediment, well, I saw him today. I was at a stoplight, and I saw his profile. Because I have Asperger's syndrome, it is very unlikely that I recognize many people if I don't see them on a regular basis. (This does come in handy, any crowd feels like a new crowd every time.)

This man left such an impression on me though, between his speech impediment, and his disgustingly suggestive comments, that I could pick him out of a crowd. It's nice to know that he is only a couple years older than me, and looks like total crap. It looks like he's eating the food there on a regular basis too, because I've actually seen thinner truckers. It's the buffet. It's loaded with msg and sugar. They must be paying him in food now.

Despite the fact that I hated my boss, I kind of miss working there. I loved pissing people off, but not before they totally irritated me.

Time for a truckstop tale.

There was this guy, a big trucker, who overheard me speaking french to my french canadian neighbors to the north. He says, "You should learn Chinese, those chinks are going to invade the country before you know it, and you'll have to learn it anyway." Well, I thought this was so ridiculous. After all, Erie, PA's sister city is Zibo, China. Maybe he's right, it's part of a sneaky ploy to infiltrate the country, and take over.

I told him "Welcome to the 21st century. Do you still have shell shock from some war or something? You're nuts. Why don't you get the buffet and keep eating so you're quiet in my section." Well, this totally pissed him off.

"Let me talk to your boss."

"I am the boss."

"You ain't. I wanna talk to your manager."

So, I went to get my boss, Elmer, and me and another girl switched sections.

" I would wike to tawk to you en de office," my boss says to me.

"What did you say to him?" He asks me.

"I dunno what I said. He just started to tell me that the Chinese were planning an invasion, and when I told him I didn't subscribe to his political opinion, he got mad and started swearing at me. "

"Oday. Just stay out of his section"

So, I go back to my section, and that fat fuck is smiling. Then he realizes that I'm not his waitress anymore.

"Oh, so you can't handle waiting on me because I'm telling the truth."

So I told him no, that he was nuts, and the next time I saw him, I would ask him how his Chinese was coming along. "You just wait and see, just wait," he was yelling at me as I walked away.

Well, I've yet to see a land invasion, and last I checked, I still speak English pretty well. Although, I wouldn't mind learning another language.