THE END MUST BE NEAR.

RUN! THE FOURTH HORSEMAN OF THE APOCALYPSE HAS BROKEN THE SEAL!

My demon-in-law riding her horse with her friends.

Yes, the trumpets have sounded, the seven headed beast is loose!

My demon-in-law is having another baby!

Although she is still not speaking to me, my demon-in-law has announced that she is carrying more spawn.

Yes, you heard it here first, Rosemary is having a baby. Oh brother. Does this mean that we all have to chip in and buy her a black bassinette?

Although I pray that this news is just a vicious rumor, (I highly doubt they learned how to get it in the hole AGAIN) I am still going to have to treat this as non-fiction.

Beelzebub has yet again tricked my brother into repoducing himself, proving potentially fatal for him and the rest of the world. The day after she had the first baby, she went home less than 24 hours later, (citing hospital incompetence) bitching that nobody came to visit her, (I did, have pictures) and then called me crying that the baby wouldn't sleep. Whoa. Newsflash for her, babies don't sleep like in the pictures.

She's nuts anyway. I hope she blows up like a hippo in heat. I am no string cheese log, but she has a double chin even when she is emaciated. I love it. The only thing that will make it go away is plastic surgery or standing on her head.

The thought of her copulating disgusts me, and she admitted to me that she doesn't even like sex. She, however, used to email me weird sex photos that she found on the internet. When I asked her to stop, and told her that I was appaled, she thought I was kidding. I'm not really into the porn scene, tasteful is okay, but people shitting on each other and beastiality are out. The thought of somebody not liking sex, but liking to see pictures of other people having sex is a gross paradox. Why on earth do you like porn if you are grossed out by what they are doing? EW. Double sick.

At my daughter's birthday party, she was sitting on my couch, changing her baby's diaper. Mysteriously enough, after she left, a rather conspicuous dildo was found in the cushion. Needless to say, and of course, the kids found it first. They didn't buy the neck massager story that I told them. I think it was hers, I really don't know who it could've belonged to, plus, she was sitting where it was found.

When my brother met her, she was into all of this bisexual shit, (no offense to you if you are bi or other, I am no homophobe) which she tried to be into, I think because she thought it was fashionable or something, not because she really was. I can sniff out a lesbian wannabe in a ten mile radius. (however, that would explain her lack of desire to have sex with my brother)

So, my sister-in-law, (NOT the demon-in-law) has crappy voice mails from the satan-in-law, and we have to figure out how to get them from voice mail to the internet, at which time, the maniacal ravings of my brother and his satanic wife will be posted for all to hear. If anyone knows how to do this off hand, please email me.